Alix Olson rules

Armpit Hair (Mammally Factual)- Alix Olson

There were no seats on the subway so I had to grab a strap
As I lifted up my arm I heard a scream- "what’s that?"
I took a look around, I thought "there must be something scary.
Like a lion or a tiger or the Virgin Mary?"
But then, I noticed they were looking at me.
I heard "oh my gawd! They’re hairy!"

You turn thirteen, they put a razor in your hand
To teach you the difference between a woman and a man.
You see, chicks smooth their pits so boys can smooth the chicks.
But I was different, I wanted to smooth the chicks, I wanted to lick their pits!

Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair! (I like it)Armpit Hair! Armpit Hair! (spike it, spike it!)
Well, I want to go to Europe, the land of Brave and Free
Where it’s considered natural for girls to be hairy.
Where gillette don’t make a profit off of keeping womyn busy
As pleasers with their shavers and their razors and their tweezers.
So to all the boys and the men with the furry, furry masses
With the ape like backs and the very hairy asses.
I don’t find that particularly pretty
So get your opinion out of my hairy pitty.

They say, "cut your clits and shave your pits, and cover your tits!"
We say- bullshit.

Cause I use my curls to be at one with the world like when I’m out camping
And I lay myself to restI sleep with my arms up so the birdies can nest.
So stop and reconsider just what they consider natural
Cause armpit hair is simply Mammally Factual.